But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
Numbers20:12
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How you perceive the word that God has spoken matters. How you see the word that God has spoken matters, not only as a matter of faith, but faith must have the right eyes to see. Deception is powerful in its simplicity, because your heart can become convinced of a thing, and it’s incorrect.
I recently read the story of the Israelites making themselves a golden calf because they grew impatient waiting for Moses to return from the mountain. What stood out to me was, after they’d made the golden calf, and God was telling Moses to go back because of their idolatry, God said: the people had corrupted themselves; had turned aside from his command, they’d made a golden calf, and worshipped it, sacrificed unto it, and said that golden calf had delivered them out of Egypt( Exodus 32:8).
It got me thinking that deception doesn’t care for what is rational, or factual. Because where was that golden calf when they left Egypt? Deception is convinced by what it sees and does not consider the truth.
It’s the same way in which the 10 spies became convinced that the land that they spied out devoured its inhabitants, whilst admitting that a mighty people lived on the land. If it devoured people, would great men exist on the land to subdue it? How did they come to these conclusions. How could they see themselves as small, when God was doing mighty miracles among them? Truly, experiencing the hand of God in your life does not mean you trust God. That lack of trust changes the way you think and what you say. It corrupts you, albeit subtly.
What is corruption? The dictionary defines it as: to go through decomposition, rot, pollution. But it can also be moral decay, or depravity.
That pollution manifests in our words. The Israelites create an idol and said that it had delievered them out of Egypt. Spewing nonsense. In this state, we’re self-decieved. And it’s more than just a bad day or rough moment or week; it becomes a way of life where we live a lie thinking that we’re in right standing. The Israelites were drinking, and eating and being merry, unaware that the wrath of God was kindled against them, and they were at the cusp of destruction for what they’d done.
Impatience put them in danger of destruction. Deception had already captured their hearts, their minds, and was having them rejoicing in a lie that was about to destroy them.
There’s a way that seems right to a man, but the way of it leads to death (Prov14:12).
So how does one overcome impatience?
Go back to his word. Who does God say He is? Because often our circumstances is blinding us to the truth of God, of his ability, capability, his integrity. Everything in us is questioning whether he is trustworthy, he is faithful. Everything around us is pointing to him as a liar, and that’s why we are beginning to doubt. But you have to go back to the written word that declares that as he has given his promise and his oath, it’s impossible for him to lie (Hebrews6:18); He cannot lie (Titus1:2), and he’s not a man that lies nor repents (Numbers23:19). By his word of himself, you must return and remind yourself.
Go back to what God spoke to you specifically. What did he specifically say to you? The Israelites had a word from God, that he was bringing them to a land of milk and honey. By this they should’ve been confident that they were not going to be abandoned at the base of the mountain, leaderless. But there’s also something that God said to you personally, that you have to hang on to. That’s why it’s important to spend time with him so that he can reveal things to you that he may not reveal to others. And when it’s revealed, it’s a confirmation of what he has spoken in private. By this you’ll remember that he is not a God of confusion and you can hold your peace until he gives the greenlight.
I realize that moving in impatience satisfies everyone who wants to feel good about a thing. It satisfies you so you can look good in the eyes of people. It makes you feel like you’re doing something, producing something, meeting a standard set by you, society or whomever. But if you’ve never allowed God to satisfy you, on his turf, on his terms, you’ll mistake good things as God things. You’ll learn to alleviate discomfort, and slowly you won’t trust Him to guide you into what is true. Because you’ll be able to do that on your own.
I want to believe that it’s not every Israelite who wanted to create a golden calf, but that some gave in due to peer pressure. No one was brave enough to separate themselves. It’s hard to do. It’s not easy being the contrarian, the one who is the black sheep, the one who goes against the grain, the one who won’t just submit to what looks good, but you want what is right.
But impatience can convince you of what is right when it isn’t right in God’s eyes. I’ve prayed earnestly that God help me in this area. He’s reminded me how acting out of impatience pollutes every decision thereafter and how it doesn’t sanctify God in the eyes of those watching, but can lead to his mockery, and mockery of who he is. It pollutes me, because I become susceptible to doubt, unbelief, to pride, and idolatry. The decisions we make out of impatience make us prisoner to the very things that we are attempting to subdue by believing God.
Idols feel good. Depending on where God has you in life, idols feel decisive; they alleviate the discomfort of peoples’ pressure, and expectations; they give our desires and our will unfettered expression to decide the outcome of our lives. But we’re compromising the expression of the power of God in our lives. I’m not saying one should not act on what God says, I’m saying one should act on what God says, not based on panic, and fear, and unbelief or desperation.
I pray that those of us who believe and trust him, do not fall into the snare of impatience. We stand to lose more than we can gain by our own wisdom.
