The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Isaiah 61:1
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There is a clip going around that I saw this morning of a woman, speaking in what I would consider anguish, to the father of her children about why he won’t leave his wife to be with her. I guess he has promised he would but hasn’t. At the same time, he won’t let said woman go, because he allegedly loves her. It’s a mess. Normally I would have skipped this video, but I stopped to watch because I remember seeing pictures of this lady and thinking how God really had favourites on earth, because of how stunning she is.
Only to realize his favourites don’t know they are favoured.
Anyway, this video has the kind of comments that you’d expect to see for such a messy situation. There’s blame being thrown back and forth. But I decided to write something because something she said struck me. She asked him what does he need her to do; she wants him to tell her that he doesn’t want her so she can move on. She begged him to just tell her no, so she would leave him alone, and move on with her kids to someone who wants her and can love her.
After hearing this, I thought to myself if she could just experience even a pin-drop size drop of Jesus’ love for her, she would not be sitting here having this conversation. I say that not to be another person throwing blame, but in my heart, I’ve thrown the man away because if you are a person willing to hold another human hostage, while desecrating your own vows, hell should just swallow you up. But I digress.
However, it has also made me think that perhaps to some degree we are all like this woman when we fail to see the love God has for us. It’s easy to critique the 2 of them because they are in a situation that some of us would never entertain. But whether this is real or a skit, it’s a reflection of how bondage works. You foolishly enter into it, you are trapped in it, you try to find a compromise so that you don’t look and feel foolish, but that which is holding you prisoner has no will to release you. Bondage blinds you to the power available to set yourself free. And fear keeps you in that blindness.
In the short clip, she says with her mouth that she is a good woman; that she deserves better; that she hates the humiliation she’s experiencing.
But that belief is not in her heart. It has not grown powerfully enough to fight back. She’s still asking to be let go, rather than deciding her freedom.
If God’s love was a revelation, and a tangible experience of our value, a lot of things would be different in our lives. But we are stuck on people, stuck on their validation; stuck on how they see us rather than being rooted in and accepting God’s love, his truth, his affection and his goodness towards us.
One thing about Christians that I’m noting is that we know how to serve God very well, but I don’t think many of us know how to be loved and cared for by God. We wear suffering as a badge of honour, but we don’t know how to wear God’s love in higher honour. It’s not that I think if we learn to be loved we’d suffer less; but the kind of suffering would be different. Because his love reveals to us who we are, we won’t easily surrender or exchange our identities for pieces of bread. We are given power to serve in his kingdom, but that is not our identity.
At one point, that line was blurry for me. That although I was growing in serving, how I felt about myself, my thoughts, my actions were not reflective of someone whose identity is in the image and likeness of God. I was just learning to be a good worker, enjoying my workplace benefits. I wasn’t seeing myself as a daughter of the Most High.
I think about how it’s easier to believe the voice of man than the voice of God. I think of how, in matters of love, you want a definitive answer from someone about how they feel about you, but if you just take a step back, and ask God, you hear it without the person opening their mouth. And I’ve learned to hear certain things without needing someone to open their mouth. Because sometimes control is more important that honesty to others. Power is more important than love or care. But even in that moment, they don’t understand that they’ve exchanged strength for weakness by choosing control and power over honesty and care.
But, why do we sometimes want to hear it from the horse’s mouth? Because by your words you are justified, and by your words you are condemned. It’s about accountability; and sometimes ---sometimes—in some situations, the person doesn’t want to be accountable for their words nor the actions required. God can reveal this to you.
Christians and non-Christians often say that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. The man in this clip is a weapon that is prospering in subduing and plundering her, her self-esteem, her respect, her best years, years that cannot be taken back. The man himself is a weapon that is destroying himself, because everything that is coming from him is tainted; the money he has, the love he claims to have for his children, for her, for the wife; it’s all poisoned, but no one seems to realize it. He’s a fountain of poison that has already tainted his generations. If the women in his life saw this, would they still want him? Would this lady still want to have more children with him? Would they still want him around?
That’s why I say we must know the love of God. I need to know the love of God, to purify me and the decisions that were made against me. To purify me from the decisions that I’ve made in ignorance, in foolishness, in desperation, in disobedience, in confusion, in hurt, in fear. Because sometimes we enter situations, thinking we’ll easily come out, but it’s not the case. We become bound, and can’t understand why we can’t easily separate, we can’t leave, we can’t easily walk away. It’s like your heart is welded to this person; but it’s only God who can sever that tie. To seek separation elsewhere is to heap more trouble over your head.
Anyway, seeing this video made me think that God’s love is like that precious treasure that a man found, and sold all he had to get it. Why give up everything for it? Why risk looking foolish for it? Why risk being ostracized and disowned, and be alienated for it? Why go against the grain for this Kingdom?
Listen, if you take what does not belong to you, you’re in condemnation. You’re a thief. If you choose what is not yours because of your impatience, you’ve made God a liar because you did not believe that He would give you the best that he promised. If you despise what he gives you, you’re ungrateful and a fool, because you who does not even know tomorrow have determined that you know better than he who knows the end from the beginning.
To conclude, I think if we experienced pure love, we would not accept tainted things. We would not accept half-heartedness. We would not hold anyone hostage. We would not accept to be made a mockery by people who don’t want us. We would not submit to abuse by another. We would recognize the Spirit of God in a situation, or the absence of God in a person. We would know, by God’s witness, and His instruction, what is for us. We would learn to trust him and his voice, and his instruction more than we trust people we think know more than us, or people we think love us.
If we could just let God’s love make us new, and make us bold, the kingdom of God would be made manifest in our lives, and our families, and our communities would be better for it.
