I’m in this weird place spiritually, where I want to walk confidently in what I know the Spirit is leading me to, while also trying to make sure I’m not walk in arrogance of my thoughts and reasonings. When you’re second-guessed so much, and have second-guessed yourself in greater measure, it feels as though you can’t trust what God says because you’re questioning if you’re even hearing well or at all.
So, I’m pushing myself to invoke the presence of God through more worship, more prayer, and stillness. Disconnecting from unnecessary conversations, minding my thoughts and my words. I find myself engaging God in my day to day, little by little. When you open the door to the monster of doubt, it’s hell on earth to push it back out. It’s better to believe God and look like a fool than to spend every moment warring to subdue doubt and defend your belief simultaneously.
If I could rank them, from greatest to least, I’d say 1) Get wisdom, understanding, discernment. 2) Guard your heart. Some of the emotional turmoil we experience is because we fail to stand guard and keep out certain thoughts and opinions. It’s not everything that people say that we need to let into our hearts. The same way that there are multiple security checks at the airport, we must be extra vigilant about the thoughts that come through our hearts, and the words we proclaim, without exception.
I sincerely believe some things we share (or hear) aren’t just opinions or experiences, or well-meaning advice; they’re like those freight trains that carry goods, only [sometimes] they are carrying spirits of offence, confusion, unbelief, or intimidation. And the second you accept them, they enter your soul, and slide into your heart and wreck havoc. But I’ve decided that my body is not a soup kitchen; I’m not a shelter for lost spirits with no place to land. Moreover, it’s my responsibility to guard myself. Of course, we ought to encourage each other to speak words that build, words that contain life; however, I’m not responsible for the words that come out of someone’s mouth, but I can decide whether my heart will be the ground on which they land.
Remember, the word of God says be still, and know that I am God.
Be still. Don’t panic. Don’t wonder. Don’t overthink; don’t rationalize. Don’t have unnecessary discussions, or arguments. Be careful about what you say. God is in control. What is before you is not a mystery to God; the solution is not a mystery to him. He knows the appointed time for the vision, he knows all things. Read the word of God and let that be the light to rebuke and subdue darkness; let that be the guard that keeps doubts, reasonings, pressures, and opinions out.
Because God always shows up; if you have a testimony of His goodness, he has not changed. Don’t leave your post of trust to explain and overexplain anything. If God has assured you of a thing, remain standing on that. Trust is a choice, but it requires courage. You must be brave enough to exercise trust. I say that because the circumstances are hardly ever ideal to put your heart out there in such a manner, when you can’t even make sense of what is in front of you.
Trust is rarely built or strengthened in perfect conditions. Your ego, your pride, and sometimes your reputation takes a hit, but trust in God. You’ll taste the sweetness after the storm passes. Sometimes you’ll be celebrated for making a choice that you were criticized and vilified for, by and by. That’s why it matters that you guard your heart. It matters that you guard your thoughts, your words; it matters that you discern God’s voice, so you know which voice you accept and which to keep out.
If you hear God but stumble in courage because the multitude is great, or the opposition is too much, pray. Pray God silences the voices of lions. Pray that God emboldens you. And trust that you won’t be left standing alone. But be courageous to stand, even if standing alone. Seek to please God. When you please God, he’ll make even your enemies be at peace with you.
