“The credit belongs to the man who…. at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
T. Roosevelt
I shared a story with some folks, that has made me think about my past self, and how I thoughtlessly took actions that in hindsight were dangerous. And it’s not that I didn’t think they were dangerous then, but the degree of danger didn’t seem high at that time. It’s funny in hindsight; partly because I believed that God wouldn’t allow anything terrible to happen to me, partly because the joy of the adventure superseded any potential danger.
Life is funny, though. Sometimes you’re surrounded by a great danger, and you’re walking around, blind, thinking that you’re safe. Sometimes the greatest danger lies with those from whom you least expect harm.
Certainly, God was merciful to me when my feet found me in places that I had no business being in.
On one end, I’d argue the greatest threat to my life has always been within arm’s reach: but that’s not to excuse anything. Bad judgement and silliness aside, I think some troubles resulted in my overestimation of the genuineness of people. I assumed danger had a certain face; that you can see the dangerous person; that they wear their evil intent on their sleeve, and it’s only blind or foolish people who willingly fall into their trap.
I didn’t know that evil comes like light; unless you discern it, you will never know its presence; you can’t pinpoint its smell, you can’t perceive it with your ears, no see it with your eyes. Its intention seems pure and right, but the end thereof is disinheritance. Sometimes, you won’t know until it’s too late. You can’t explain until it’s too late. You can’t change it, because by then it’s too late.
It's why it has become necessary to be vigilant about the company that one keeps; be vigilant about those who are seemingly on the same path as us, worshipping and praying with us, working with us, who share common goals and aspirations; we must know people, not by the flesh, or by the whites of their teeth, but by the spirit.
Back then the little discernment I had, I know I ignored. Because I didn’t understand how I could possibly know something when I had no proof of it. Why would God even be that kind, when I was far from perfect? I didn’t have a place to develop these little nuggets that God would drop from time to time, revealing himself. I didn’t have anyone I trusted implicitly. I believe God revealed himself many times, but youth is such a delicate time, a time that gets painted over with a paintbrush of one being only foolish. I think the times that God reveals himself in little ways to a person are often dismissed because we often decide how God speaks to people; we decide who he speaks to and what he reveals.
Of course, there’s the youthful recklessness of believing you’ve unlocked wisdom that hundreds of those before somehow missed, and if they’d just see things from your perspective they’d come out of their ignorance. What can one do but let life take its course?
When the word says wisdom is the principal thing, so get wisdom, I could not agree more. Wisdom about people chiefly. Wisdom about life. Wisdom in buckets.
But I will get back that unabandoned, unrestricted nature again. It’s been on my mind for many months now, if not the last 2-ish years. As the days of 2024 are wrapping up, I think commencing the new year with fearlessness will make for an eventful 2025. That fearlessness that I used to exercise where I dared danger to face me may be the only way I can get out of a slump with many of my ambitions, even in my faith journey. I think in a way, I’ve become too familiar with what I learn in regards to faith, and hope, and trust in God, that I know the script, but I’m not bold with it. I’m not stretching it to see how far, how deep, how wide, how faithful God’s word is. It’s not to say I want to recklessly test it; it’s more of taking up the challenge of what God has presented. I’ve played it safe in God, and I need that stubborn conviction that I used to have to propel me forward.
If it’s a matter of belief, believe and don’t budge.
If it’s a matter of acting, do the thing, and let every other voice fade away.
Having strong convictions in the right direction changed Apostle Paul’s life and the lives he was sent to. And it’s the same for all of us. There’s a nature in all of us that when yielded to Christ, can change ourselves, and change trajectories, change mindsets, and change our destinies.
I’ll give it to myself: I’m not afraid of taking big leaps of faith. I don’t know if I can say I’m afraid of anything but I’ve certainly let fear have its way for a long while. I didn’t see it as such because fear comes with lies in tow, and you begin to consider things about yourself that are not true. I think over the years I’ve allowed unnecessary debris, riff raff, and intimidation to weave lies and fear that temporarily stopped my natural flow. The more that I’m learning and accepting the nature of God, the more that which is hidden in darkness is coming to light, the more the scales are falling off my eyes.
