Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua1:9
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I remember I was going through a hard time when I first began this blog. My life felt meaningless; it felt as though I had built myself up only to have life utterly crush me. It was a disorienting time, but I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to start blogging, and a friend encouraged me to do the same. It felt very pointless because I wanted my life to make sense, but it was therapeutic for me. I wrote a few things to help me feel less listless. But I think there are some prophetic things that I wrote in the past; and I can think of one post that alluded to an evil that, at that time, I believed was just metaphorical, but it was real. I just didn’t know.
This memory reminded me that hard things don’t last forever. Hard situations that are orchestrated by others have an end date. Difficult situations created by people who hate you, despise you, are jealous of you, are envious of you or whatever reason they have against you don’t last. I think the challenge is to come out of those situations still loving yourself, with your self esteem in tact, still believing that God is good, and believing in His goodness despite yourself, the people, and the situation(s).
Believing in God’s goodness in the worst of the warfare has been and is hard. I see why we often get swept away and walk away. In the thick of it, it is exceptionally challenging to believe that God is with you, is beside you, is keeping you, is still faithful to you. I think words like perseverance, courage, faithfulness, and resilience sound noble, but they’re not meaningless decorations. They are blood, and sweat, and tears, and loneliness, and faith, and doubt, and hope, and prayers, and betrayal; they are so many things, even as we use them as badges after someone overcomes a great difficulty. They can feel like chains in the midst of the battle when all you want to do is give up because the battle is too fierce. Words are not meaningless.
Be that as it may, you don’t get to give up. In Christ you don’t get to give up, because someone did not give up on you. We all deserve to be left in our wretchedness, but despite even rejecting the one who saves, he still made a choice to save. You don’t get to give up, because you are worth fighting for. You’re worth trying for. Your destiny is worth contending for and striving for. You don’t get to give up; someone’s blood paid for you and your destiny and your expected end. You don’t get to exchange something precious for something meaningless because it hurts less. Your burden was worth carrying up Golgotha with chains and whips stinging and lifting flesh and bursting blood vessels. There will never come a day when you are not worth fighting for. There will never be a day when your destiny should be left to your mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, friend, stranger, lover, child, to decide. If the best of what God has said is final, then let that be yay, and amen. Should someone hate your destiny and who God has placed in it, let them contend with God. But don’t be found an enemy of your own future, brandishing a sword alongside those you love because you are afraid to stand alone. Forgetting that He said He would not leave you nor forsake you. Forgetting that He said He would not put you to shame. Forgetting that He said He would not fail you. Forgetting that He said He would strengthen you and help you, and uphold you in His right hand of righteousness. Forgetting that He said be strong and very courageous.
Words are not meaningless.
There’s a price to pay for giving up what belongs to you because you don’t want to endure.
There’s a price to pay for fighting for what belongs to you.
Sometimes I think some people are not as strong as others. But I don’t think so. I think Holy Spirit, as a still small voice, whispers to us about what we ought to do, but we devalue that wisdom because we can’t see it. We permit the voices of man, loud and raging, to set the fires of fear in and all around us, extinguishing that calm whisper. He comforts us with a specific word but there’s no physical evidence that that counsel is of value, is of substance. There’s no proof of it. I’ve lived the burden of being in this place. And to hang on to that still small voice when the kings of the earth increase the heat of the furnace, and even those you trust are adding wood to increase flame, you feel like tearing your flesh and wishing to be consumed because where is God?
But if you trust him alone, you’ll be like the burning bush, on fire but not consumed. You will be a strange sight; they’ve tried to set you on fire but you’re not burning to ashes. And they will be like Moses when he saw the burning bush on fire but was not burning up; they’ll come closer, seeking to look at this mysterious sight. And it is then they will know the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the covenant keeping God, is with you.
Listen, public shame and humiliation should not make you trade your promise for comfort, or for acceptance. Otherwise, that’ll always be the price you pay. Mockery should not make you surrender the promise, otherwise how can you be trusted with anything of value?
We like to prop people up with words like they’re strong, bold, courageous, brave, wise, but those words, when bestowed on a person who embodies the meaning of them, it’s because it cost something. Those words are weighty, because even as we are using them to decorate and honour, they’re also an expectation. They are a standard. They are evidence of someone having carried their cross. But I digress.
The hard season will not last forever. I don’t know if anyone is graced to endure anything, but His grace certainly is sufficient to hold you, help you, keep you. I didn’t know I could exist in chaos and still see the beauty and goodness and value of worshipping God, yet here I am. Even encouraging you to do the same. Know God for yourself so that you can endure this life; so you can endure people. So that when you are disappointed, you still have an anchor to hold you up. So that when you are let down, you have a place to go to refresh. So, that, like me, you’re no longer expecting flesh and blood to defend you, but you are choosing to entrust yourself to Him who judges justly.
There’s an end date to mourning. There’s an end date to hard situations. We ought to perceive when that day comes. Yes, other times we have to decide when that end is. But through it all, hear me: you’re not permitted to surrender what belongs to you.
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These are the names of the mighty men whom David had: Josheb-Basshebeth the Tachmonite, chief among the captains. He was called Adino the Eznite, because he had killed eight hundred men at one time. 9 And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel had retreated. 10 He arose and attacked the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand stuck to the sword. The Lord brought about a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to plunder. 11 And after him was Shammah the son of Agee the Hararite. The Philistines had gathered together into a troop where there was a piece of ground full of lentils. So the people fled from the Philistines. 12 But he stationed himself in the middle of the field, defended it, and killed the Philistines. So the Lord brought about a great victory.
|2Samuel23:8-12|
