|Kurt Carr|
***
I remember a dream I had some years ago where I saw myself climbing a mountain. Other people were climbing with me, but there was a point where from afar I saw a dog running menacingly towards me. The rest of the people kept walking, and didn’t seem to see it except for me. And I froze in place as it got closer, but suddenly, two very tall men came out of nowhere clapping their hands, and drove the dog away before it reached me.
I didn’t understand the dream back then; I didn’t know what to make of it. But I understand it now. And I give God all the glory.
Recently I crossed paths with someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus. Faith has no place in his life. This person has his own version of who Jesus is, and says based on historical proof, the biblical account is inaccurate. This person proceeded to make references to the books he has read, and research pursued. It was quite remarkable in one sense, because he was completely convinced in what he was saying. And as he talked, it made me think that if we were in a room full of people, he certainly would have captivated the entire crowd.
I certainly wasn’t debating Jesus, because Jesus is not a subject for debate for me.
But when I think about this dream, and other more remarkable dreams I’ve had since then, I walked away from this person with peace, and certainty, and confidence, that no matter what proof anyone has to discredit Jesus, there is no way in heaven or earth that I can explain certain experiences. This dream comes to mind, to remind me that men may say many things, but I know now that if not for Jesus, I would have been torn to pieces by the wild dogs that surrounded me, the dogs that I did not know.
To be frank, this mountainous terrain has been arduous. I’ve discovered things that have left me aghast, appalled, but was forced to keep moving, keep praying, keep believing, keep sacrificing. It’s as though the past 2-ish years have been a blur. I’ve been traversing through a poisonous miasma fashioned to destroy me, but God has decided he’ll take me through this valley when all I’ve been praying for is for Him to level the valley or just take me out of it completely.
When I consider everything, I don’t know how I’ve survived to this age with my naiveté about people. It’s like failing an open book test, but because of God’s grace I [have not been] destroyed by it. Because of His kindness He gave me a chance to see what has been in front of me all along, to make sense what I couldn’t understand before, to come out of a lie.
I think about that dream, and consider some interactions where, admittedly, there was always an underlying something I couldn’t quite place. I knew, but I didn’t know what I knew. I lacked understanding. And now, I think of that dog running towards me. I think of those two men driving it away. A familiar scripture comes to mind: “Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dog!” (Psalm 22:20) I would not have known the dogs gnashing their teeth at me, ready to devour me, ready to destroy me with their words if God had not made it plain recently. I would have said, “there’s no way. Why would such and such pay me any mind when I have nothing to do with them.” Until I heard and I saw, I would not have believed. But it confirmed some things. And the knowledge of it, although liberating to some degree, has also left me a bit disappointed in myself too. Why didn’t I pay attention? It was right in front of me...
But I’ve decided in myself that I will not linger over “I wish” or “I should have”. Now that I know better, I will do better. And really, when all is said and done, I’ve come out victorious. The fog has cleared out. I see well. And my ears hear well. That which was hidden in the dark is now exposed. I am no longer fazed by white teeth. Truly, a man’s enemies are members of his household, and you can never convince me otherwise.
The power of the dog. Some dogs are powerful, you know. But the psalmist cried out to the one who could deliver, the one who could save from such power. The psalmist understood that there is appalling wickedness on this earth, and understood the wicked have power to destroy. But he also understood that there was also a power above the power of the wicked, and he appealed to it and was saved.
So you see, these things are written for our learning, that we may endure, and be encouraged, and have hope.
In sum, those who want to delve into scholarly works and debates on Jesus, on God, on who wrote the Bible, on missing books, and this and that, ought to continue. It must be nice to have never seen the edge of a sword, or stagnancy and delays or the gnashing of teeth against you, or to experience a betrayal, a disgrace that has you appealing for divine help. I don’t envy you, but it must be nice.
But for those on this journey, who are climbing mountains, whose hope is Christ Jesus and are trembling with questions, with fear, languishing; know that as He has in times past delivered, He is still delivering, and will continue to deliver you.
**
“Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us…”
|2Corinthians1:9-10|
