He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings I take refuge. He is my shield and buckler. Psalm 91: 4-5|
**
I found fear lingering at the edge of the precipice I was about to leap over, whispering something inaudible at first; and as I paused to make sense of its words, I realized how steep the jump was; how suddenly unrealistic my expectations were. My heart rate began rising, but I remembered what was spoken: do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
I was about to leap into unchartered territory, venture toward something that I haven’t done before, and doubt was making everything seemingly clear, the impossibilities more pronounced, and I began weighing what I had with what I needed…
The leap you must make did not suddenly become more steep now that you have to make it. It has been the same even before you made the decision to take the plunge.
And just like that, that still small voice brought my confidence back, but I’m still a bit shaken. That’s just like fear, you know? An enemy to progress. Delayer of progress and productivity. A serial murderer of dreams and opportunities. A ruthless prison guard, that if you are not careful, you’ll forever be paralyzed, and ever at its mercy.
So what of fear? I’ve begun ignoring its voice, putting my plans above its reasonings, choosing to believe that I have enough of what I need, rather than succumb to its facts. Taking my eyes off of the forbidden fruit of facts, and choosing faith toward a road I’ve been called.
And I’m conquering slowly: doing the opposite of what fear is demanding. Praying. Talking myself through each doubt that creeps in. Extending grace to myself. Reminding myself that the true walk of faith is based off of what God is saying, not always what he is showing. And being my own friend; encouraging myself the way I’d encourage my friend. And cease from nitpicking and critiquing. Everything that I do and create, may my eyes and mouth declare them to be good.
**
